Michelle Malkin and I Have Something in Common

We both hate Rachel Ray and hipster scarves:

Does Dunkin’ Donuts really think its customers could mistake Rachael Ray for a terrorist sympathizer? The Canton-based company has abruptly canceled an ad in which the domestic diva wears a scarf that looks like a keffiyeh, a traditional headdress worn by Arab men.

Some observers, including ultra-conservative Fox News commentator Michelle Malkin, were so incensed by the ad that there was even talk of a Dunkin’ Donuts boycott.

No word on how this would mesh with her frivolous boycott of Starbucks for their commitment to “social justice” (read: better benefits for part-time employees than any other food retailer). No word either on whether or not she’s ready to declare jihad on Caribou Coffee, partially owned by Arcapita Bank, which is MUSLIM and therefore of the devil. If she eliminated caffeine from her diet and went to bed a decent hour like the good, God-fearing Christian woman she brags about, she wouldn’t need the evils of caffeine to keep her awake for her shouting segments on Fox News. Hrm. Maybe the Mormons are onto something.

Peter H. Cropes on where Rachel Ray lives. Brief exerpt:

The dogs finally start to howl and convulse in the woods behind the house, so they run off to see what is the matter. I am disgusted with them both; I do not want to confront this terrible situation as much as I thought I did. I want to be gone, away from these two. It is all I can do to go into the house, make myself sick on a plate, and leave it by the stove. “Amateur hour,” I know.

Not too long after that I am back in the van, headed for home. I am disappointed, and it takes me a good sixty hours to reach California. When I turn on the television, there is Rachael Ray, serving a meal of Astronaut Turkey Smackers. A telltale stain of iodine shows just past the cuff of a long shirt sleeve: she has been bitten by a crazed dog.

In a way, I have communicated with her, but I would not call it a conversation.

On the other hand, a ripped up paisely scarf DOES look a lot like a keffiyeh. If you’re a retard. Leave it to Malkin to dictate a woman’s fashion choices in the name of combatting radical Islam. Classy.

Update: Anthony Bourdain on the princess of EVOO:

Complain all you want. It’s like railing against the pounding surf. She only grows stronger and more powerful. Her ear-shattering tones louder and louder. We KNOW she can’t cook. She shrewdly tells us so. So…what is she selling us? Really? She’s selling us satisfaction, the smug reassurance that mediocrity is quite enough. She’s a friendly, familiar face who appears regularly on our screens to tell us that “Even your dumb, lazy ass can cook this!” Wallowing in your own crapulence on your Cheeto-littered couch you watch her and think, “Hell…I could do that. I ain’t gonna…but I could–if I wanted! Now where’s my damn jug a Diet Pepsi?” Where the saintly Julia Child sought to raise expectations, to enlighten us, make us better–teach us–and in fact, did, Rachael uses her strange and terrible powers to narcotize her public with her hypnotic mantra of Yummo and Evoo and Sammys. “You’re doing just fine. You don’t even have to chop an onion–you can buy it already chopped. Aspire to nothing…Just sit there. Have another Triscuit…Sleep….sleep….”

He also, upon the beginning of her campaign to promote Dunkin’ Donuts, described what she as tantamount to selling crack to children. This serves as a great segue into some keen thoughts on Feministing on this whole ridiculous manufactured outrage non-scandal.

But there are two problems in this case. One is that the right-wing zealots are trying to foist their own blanket meaning on a piece of clothing that has a long history as a national symbol. I’ll come back to that later. The other problem is that Malkin and Johnson are complaining about a symbol that has basically escaped and vanished, lost its meaning in the Land of Miscellaneous Consumer Scarves.

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