Education and Socialization

All four of my children have been homeschooled, and one of the complaints about homeschooling that irritates me the most, is that it is socially damaging.

My children have various social strengths and weaknesses, just as kids I knew in school, and adults I know now. For the life of me the worst argument for public school is the socialization assertion. My children certainly are not less comfortable in society at large, and I think those of you who know them will say they in general are more comfortable with themselves and their place in it than most children their age. At minimum they are doing better than many of my friends did at the same age. Possibly however my children are an exception, but my experience tells me no, homeschoolers are in general doing just fine relative to their institutionalized peers.

Anyway, Wulf over at Atlas Blogged, a teacher himself, explains very well why this complaint is invalid:

As a teacher, this is the aspect of schools that frustrates me the most – parents and students somehow assume that school prepares children for the “real world”, but school is not the “real world” and we go to great lengths as a society to ensure that. In the real world, you don’t have to take gym class if you’re fat or scrawny or just don’t like it. You don’t automatically get promoted when you show minimum competence. You don’t get detention for chewing gum, and you don’t just get two weeks off work if you beat somebody up at the office. You choose which interests to pursue, and when to choose them, and your level of success and happiness is dependent on those choices. I have no idea why people think the artificial society that exists in fifth grade would in some way prepare children for the “real world”. It can be a rewarding, enriching, wonderfully educational experience, but it certainly isn’t automatically these things, nor is it at all clear that public schools are the best way to have these things.

This is in response to this comment from Mom is Teaching that describes a large part of what attracted me to homeschooling:

I feel that the best place to prepare them for college and for life as an adult is by letting them be a part of the real world. Where they have to get to class on time of their own accord and not because of some distant bell ringing or adult lecturing, where they must manage themselves, and where they can direct their own educational futures… [Bryan]’s right. It takes a village. The baker, the farmer, the police, all the people in the real world who haven’t set foot in a classroom since they graduated. Luckily homeschoolers don’t spend 8 hours a day stuck in a brick bubble…they get to be a part of the real world every day.

My children missed some things by not being in “regular” school. However, they had a wider, more open, social experience with people of a much larger range of ages and backgrounds. Everybody else missed all of that. They wouldn’t change it I promise you. Go ahead and read the whole thing, but I’ll make one more observation.

I had a great High School experience, at a very special place. I went to an awful Junior High, and a pretty good elementary school. All public schools.

What struck me as an adult, though, is who came up with the idea that the healthiest way to raise our children was to have me in an environment where the predominant influence on my life was hundreds of other 13 year olds and  a few outnumbered adults trying to ride herd on us. Exactly what about that is expected to necessarily produce a healthy, mature outlook on life? It is a surreal environment in reality.

I think it says a lot for many of the teachers and students that such an unreal environment produces so many productive adults. We ask children to work in ways at age 8 that as adults the most prominent companies in the world know would shut them down. Can you imagine a work environment where your behavior was so circumscribed? Could you get any work done? Sitting in rows in little desks. No leaning back in your chair, no waste basket basketball, getting up and pacing, whatever are your work patterns. That is fine for only the most repetitive and automatic of tasks.

Anyway, as I said, read the whole thing.

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3 Responses to “Education and Socialization”

  1. on 25 Jan 2008 at 1:44 pm Keith_Indy

    I was in the public school system and I was socially backwards. A picked on geek/nerd, if I didn’t have a good heart, I’d probably have gone postal.

    I have to agree that the institutional environment is not the best, certainly at minimum not the best for every child.

    I’m hoping when we have children, that we’ll be able to home school them.

  2. on 25 Jan 2008 at 1:47 pm Lance

    Let’s talk about it when you get to that point. I have a lot of advice, and used to consult on it.

  3. on 25 Jan 2008 at 4:44 pm Synova

    I think that simply knowing that you can homeschool makes a huge difference.

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