What does socialism smell like? At first blush I can’t be much more specific than “pungent and bad.” Luckily the enterprising Catalan Socialist Party has brewed up a concoction as a campaign stunt that promises to answer this confounding quandary:
Election campaigns have witnessed some strange political strategies over the years, but the Catalan Socialist Party (PSC) surely broke new ground today when it launched its very own perfume.
At a press conference today, the PSC answered the question on everybody’s noses since the party announced last week it had created the fragrance: what does socialism smell like?
Apparently, it mixes Mediterranean herbs and fruits such as Bergamot orange and white tea with base notes from the Orient, which come together to produced an aroma of “confidence, equality, progress and efficiency”.
I’ll just note an appalling dearth of blood, rotting food and jack boot polish. But, I’m no perfume expert.
Oddly, it also smells a little like air freshener. One journalist at the press conference said the smell was so strong that he was practically overwhelmed and left feeling faint.
Hmm, maybe the PSC is on to something here. Air freshener is used to hide unpleasant odiferous realities and too much of it can leave one feeling lightheaded. In comparison, socialism has been known to mask certain economic realities with an air of fruitful abundance, and too much socialism has caused millions of people to pass out. Permanently.
The creator, Albert Majós, told Cadena Ser radio station today that it was neither a “perfume nor air-freshener” but the aromatic representation of socialism’s values.
Well, I’m glad he cleared that up.
The vice-president of the PSC, Manuela de Madre, argued that overall “it would be no bad thing if Catalan politics could relax a little using this fragrance” and recommended “the aromatic and relaxing herbs” to the conservative opposition People’s Party (PP).
De Madre said the PSC would be sending a sample to all the political parties in the Catalan parliament.
The fragrance, which comes in little bags to be placed in all good leftwing wardrobes, will go on sale at the PSC headquarters in Barcelona and its other offices, as well as at party meetings.
For his next fragrance, De Madre plans to create “the sweet smell of Irony.”
A spokesman for the PSC said it could also be used in offices to create a pleasant environment of equality and fairness.
I think that one already exists. It’s called Neutra Air.
* The Soviet Era poster above is from here, which provides the following comment:
This poster reads, “Work happily, and the crop will be good. Spring, summer, fall, winter” and depicts this woman that we assume to be hardworking is happy in her work and reaping great success. Implicit in this poster is the idea that Stalin brought this change about.
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