The Wonders of the Midwest
Joshua Foust on Apr 23 2008 at 11:17 pm | Filed under: Humor, Josh's Page
Ever since I moved to the Midwest four-point-five long months ago, I’ve been amazed at the subtle difference that occasionally make me feel like I’m in another country. Maybe Arlington, VA is just too damned humorless, but there are random bits of naughty that crop up here and there that just make me giggle uncontrollably. For instance, I saw this the other day in a Price Chopper:
Really? The cheshire-grinning coach is packing fudge bars? Ridiculous. This brings up an interesting Tyler Cowen post, in which he lays out his “Anti-American” positions. Among them?
4. I could not live in rural America and be happy.
I used to say the same thing about the Midwest. While many of my fears of it are, in fact true—the racism in particular is galling (like the old white guy at Wal-Mart checking only the receipts of black people)—there are surprising benefits. I’m still unaccustomed to random strangers saying hello to me and probably meaning it. A far higher percentage of fast food employees are white (this, too, stands out for some reason). Even the local flavors of homosexual are far gentler, friendlier in many ways, though not as delicately coiffed and a touch flakier.
I guess what I’m saying is, I just didn’t expect it to be so mild. But that sort of sums up this whole region: mild. I was afraid of that at first. But not anymore.
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Just curious what other fears you have of the midwest.
I would agree, individual racism is present. Personally, I find it rarer, and usually most present in older generations. Of course, I doubt he is following a store policy, and an anonymous letter might help bring change. Failing to do anything would be defacto acceptance of the situation.
Compared to the bump and grind of the East Coast, and the mellow vibes of LA when I was there for a month and a half, Indiana is a pleasant middle point. Determined enough to get the job done, but not clawing over each other up the corporate ladder. Although that is changing with the many transplants the region is getting.
Another question, how many bitter Americans have you met that are clinging to their guns and religion?
I met a few when I tried going to church my first few weeks, actually. Well, they’re religious, bitter about “those damned liberals,” and certainly love their guns. I couldn’t say how interconnected all of those were, because I didn’t return.
What do you call a fudge bar if not a fudge bar?
Funny. Fast-food was one of the major culture shock items for me when I first moved to San Jose, CA. It seemed weird and significant and wrong, somehow, that there were a couple of franchise stores at every major intersection. The rest of the city seemed normal… the houses and yards and cars and people. It was just this odd proliferation of McDonalds and Taco Bells that gave off an alien vibe. (Sort of like a Sliders episode where everything was “right” except the Golden Gate Bridge was blue.) It didn’t seem like so many stores could have stayed in business and it seemed out of balance. After a year or so living there it made perfect sense.
When I moved to the Philippines the major disconnect was how early it got dark when it was as warm as it was. It took me a while to figure that out but when I finally did the constant subliminal feeling of wrongness went away.
wow, talk about obscure details from obscure scifi shows. My hat is off to you.
Synova, I was making a joke about “fudge packing.” Umm, don’t google it.
But Sliders is where I draw the line. That show was terrible, SUCH a lazy rip off on Quantum Leap! And its cast… while Dean Stockwell is now a supervillain on Battlestar Galactica (what’s up with that civil war, by the way?), and Scott Bakula made Clive Barker B-movies and a terrible Star Trek series, where’s Chris O’Donnell? Or anyone else from Sliders?
Exactly. Quantum Leap FTW!
I, um, know what fudge packing is. I probably missed a “winky” up there. ;-) But I still don’t know what else a fudge bar could be called other than a fudge bar.
I don’t know how many Sliders episodes I ever saw but I remember that one. Having watched it probably says more about my age than anything else. (Or maybe about the truly odd way my brain retrieves information.)
(Oh, and my computer went belly-up so I’m iffy on my mail and such things, only half-here.)
Chris O’Donnell? Haven’t seen much of him after Batman and Robin. However if you’re talking about Jerry O’Connell, well he’s right here baby.
As for the fudge bars, I think you just found the midwest america ink blot test.
Let’s also not forget the Professor was Gimli in Lord of the Rings. Wade was a star of one of the most underrated shows in recent memory, Aaron Sorkin’s Sports Night. And then there’s B movie star Kari Wuhrer if you count the people after the cast change towards the end of the show.