Teaching violence…

Last night I was wiping blood off my 15 year old daughter’s face.    It ran from her nose down over her mouth and chin and I hoped that I wasn’t too rough and hurting her while I did it, but I had to hurry.

I had to get back down the steps and be ready to grab the stool out of the ring and sit on it when the bell rang.    You have to sit, her coach told me.   You have to sit on the stool, you can’t get up until the round is over if you’re going to work the corner.

It was my daughter’s first amateur boxing match.    Her first entry in her “book.”

We were at a middle school in Albuquerque… a part of town where most of the students are Hispanic and most of the business signs are in Vietnamese.    I suppose there are worse neighborhoods but this was far from the best.    South of Central and tucked up against the Air Force base in a “you can’t get there from here” sort of way.

When the fights began the announcer said something rather interesting.   The principal of the school had had to fight to keep boxing going, and this particular event on, against disapproval from APS.   They gave her an award and everyone clapped and cheered.

It seems that someone decided that boxing is violent.

It is.

It’s sort of shocking, actually, everyone cheering on two kids beating the snot out of each other.   The blood.   The hugging.

Oh, wait.   Yeah, the hugging.    The “here, let me help you with your ribbon”-”no no, let me hand you your trophy” expectation of good sportsmanship.   The respect for any kid who steps in the ring, just for the bravery of stepping in the ring.

The higher up mucky-mucks at APS (one of those urban mega-districts that are, quite frankly, an offense against nature itself) might not think teaching violence is appropriate.   The principal of this middle school in a not-so-good part of town knows it is.    Her club is going gang-busters.

At least, judging by the number of people last night wearing club t-shirts.

I don’t know what all is going on with the politics.   I’m not sure I even want to.    But it’s a sad thing that so many don’t seem to recognize that *violence* isn’t bad.    Viewing violence itself as the problem is simplistic and wrong.   Fixing the problem of violence isn’t going to fix much when violence isn’t the problem.

The announcer last night often talked of warriors.

Warriors are as far as possible from criminals.   And it doesn’t really matter that the call to be warriors is symbolic and not actual.    The difference is… do you learn violence to be a protector or do you learn violence to be a predator?   A warrior learns violence to be a protector.

Being able to fight is a good thing.   Being able to face it, to step up to it and do it, is a good thing.    Boxing may appeal to the same young people who might find other blood-sport appealing… particularly those macho young men, but girls too.    I don’t think that I’ll ever watch boxing for fun.    I don’t find it entertaining.   Watching.    Maybe when I know more I’ll enjoy watching for the technical aspects.   I’ve trained in karate long enough to go “oh, look what he just did” when watching certain types of fights.    But I don’t think I’ll ever find this sort of sport entertaining.

So what.

I can say that it won’t bother me at all to work the corner for my daughter if I’m asked to do it again.    I’ll wash the blood out of her mouth guard and the blood and snot off her face, give her water and hold the spit bucket.    Then I’ll wisk the stool out of the ring and sit.

About Synova

I know why people define themselves by their careers or relationship to children. It's easier than figuring out who you are.
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7 Responses to Teaching violence…

  1. Keith_Indy says:

    I think people who are schooled in violence are much more apt to know how to restrain themselves.

    Getting a gun, a CCW, and taking a class, as well as semi-constant practice, has certainly done that for me. I’ve always been taught to avoid conflict, and being capable of violence has only reinforced that for me.

  2. MichaelW says:

    Great insights, Synova. Your post reminds of Bill Whittle’s “Tribes” (which you’ve probably read before) and how every society is made up basically of sheepdogs (warriors) and sheep (citizens). He based that very excellent essay on a story told by Lt. Colonel Dave Grossman, which Whittle retells:

    Let me expand on this old soldier’s excellent model of the sheep, wolves, and sheepdogs. We know that the sheep live in denial; that is what makes them sheep. They do not want to believe that there is evil in the world. They can accept the fact that fires can happen, which is why they want fire extinguishers, fire sprinklers, fire alarms and fire exits throughout their kids’ schools. But many of them are outraged at the idea of putting an armed police officer in their kid’s school. Our children are dozens of times more likely to be killed, and thousands of times more likely to be seriously injured, by school violence than by school fires, but the sheep’s only response to the possibility of violence is denial. The idea of someone coming to kill or harm their children is just too hard, so they choose the path of denial.

    The sheep generally do not like the sheepdog. He looks a lot like the wolf. He has fangs and the capacity for violence. The difference, though, is that the sheepdog must not, cannot and will not ever harm the sheep. Any sheepdog that intentionally harms the lowliest little lamb will be punished and removed. The world cannot work any other way, at least not in a representative democracy or a republic such as ours.

    Still, the sheepdog disturbs the sheep. He is a constant reminder that there are wolves in the land. They would prefer that he didn’t tell them where to go, or give them traffic tickets, or stand at the ready in our airports in camouflage fatigues holding an M-16. The sheep would much rather have the sheepdog cash in his fangs, spray paint himself white, and go, “Baa.” Until the wolf shows up. Then the entire flock tries desperately to hide behind one lonely sheepdog. As Kipling said in his poem about “Tommy” the British soldier:

    While it’s Tommy this, an’ Tommy that,
    an’ “Tommy, fall be’ind,”
    But it’s “Please to walk in front, sir,”
    when there’s trouble in the wind,
    There’s trouble in the wind, my boys,
    there’s trouble in the wind,
    O it’s “Please to walk in front, sir,”
    when there’s trouble in the wind.

    Understand that there is nothing morally superior about being a sheepdog; it is just what you choose to be. Also understand that a sheepdog is a funny critter: He is always sniffing around out on the perimeter, checking the breeze, barking at things that go bump in the night, and yearning for a righteous battle. That is, the young sheepdogs yearn for a righteous battle. The old sheepdogs are a little older and wiser, but they move to the sound of the guns when needed right along with the young ones.

    Here is how the sheep and the sheepdog think differently. The sheep pretend the wolf will never come, but the sheepdog lives for that day. After the attacks on September 11, 2001, most of the sheep, that is, most citizens in America said, “Thank God I wasn’t on one of those planes.” The sheepdogs, the warriors, said, “Dear God, I wish I could have been on one of those planes. Maybe I could have made a difference.” When you are truly transformed into a warrior and have truly invested yourself into warriorhood, you want to be there. You want to be able to make a difference.

    While there is nothing morally superior about the sheepdog, the warrior, he does have one real advantage — only one. He is able to survive and thrive in an environment that destroys 98 percent of the population.

  3. Synova says:

    I’ve thought that gun clubs in some of the areas that have gun crime problems would be an excellent, if counter-intuitive, plan.

    That and Jr. ROTC and other similar programs run by police and other volunteers.

    Firearm safety training and the opportunity to learn and to shoot weapons in a controlled place would be good, I think. Very good for those young people who might get into the warped gun culture on the streets where most information about guns is learned from movies.

    It would give them something that involved high levels of skill, trust, and power. Something that could be taken away if they screw up.

    I think that giving boys (particularly) from a hyper-masculine culture an acceptable way to be hyper-masculine would be a very very good plan.

    Work with it instead of against it.

    (I had gun safety training hosted by the American Legion in the summer after 6th grade.)

  4. Synova says:

    What’s the Olympic event where you cross country ski and then shoot? Most skiing around here is down-hill, but there *is* skiing. I bet training for that would really motivate a whole lot of urban kids.

  5. Keith_Indy says:

    The biathlon is what you’re thinking about… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biathlon

    sheep, wolves, and sheepdogs

    I’ve always put that as, prey, predator, and protector, but same concept.

  6. nancy says:

    Though teachers must be sensitive to the students needs and respectful to each individual, they must also act with authority and assertively carry out lessons. They must create a learning atmosphere that the kids can take seriously and not as an extension of recess. As
    we have discussed in our Educational Psychology class, teachers must approach each lesson promptly and have focused goals. Objectives must be stated clearly and the teacher must create a serious yet entertaining atmosphere. All of these rules hold true in urban schools yet there is more emphasis on authoritative verbal commands. Urban school children ignore indirect commands an don’t pay attention unless the instructor has a serious tone. These children can sense fear easily, so it is important to approah lessons
    with confidence and poise.
    ==========================================================
    nancy
    <a href=”http://www.legalx.net”>California Dui</a>

  7. synova says:

    Auto-bot?   Searching on urban schools?    Because I betcha “nancy” would have an aneurysm if she actually read my post.

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