Cindy Sheehan to retire

This announcement was made a few days ago, but I felt that it was important enough to comment on. While it cannot be denied that Cindy Sheehan has damaged the efforts of the troops in the field and the progress of the war on the domestic front, I believe that the underlying psychology behind her protests explains her actions. Sheehan was (is and ever shall be) a grieving parent. Her beloved child was ripped from her when he was killed serving as a member of the United States military deployed to a war zone. Like many bereaved parents, her rage and grief led her to lash out and, in this case, she chose President Bush as her target. I don’t agree with her choice of targets (Saddam Hussein, al Zarqawi, OBL, or the actual person who killed her son would have been better), but that is in the past now. Unfortunately for Cindy Sheehan, her grief and rage were used as tools by deeply unscrupulous and power hungry people as a part of their political game. They used her as a mere pawn, then discarded her when she no longer served their purposes. Note that she was idolized and rabidly defended by many on the left while she openly opposed President Bush and Congressional Republicans; as soon as her frustration was turned against left-wing targets, she became fair game. Sheehan herself points this out in her blog entry that the AP story refers to. I can only hope that by this time, she exercises some hindsight and understands how and by whom she was used.

I think that Cindy Sheehan’s fundamental flaw was being too much of a mother. That may, at first glance, seem a foolish statement, but consider her relationship with her son. Casey Sheehan, like many young adults, chose to dedicate his life to a cause greater than himself. He understood that he was risking his life by doing this, but still he volunteered to serve. This is the same type of commitment made by every person who volunteers to serve in the military, law enforcement, fire and rescue services, etc. Cindy Sheehan, like any parent, wanted to protect her child from harm. That is both a natural and healthy instinct. The problem appears when a child reaches adulthood (18 years of age for argument’s sake). Parents must learn to respect (if not always understand) the decisions that their now adult children make. Casey Sheehan believed in a cause which his mother did not agree with. That kind of thing happens every day. Cindy Sheehan’s problem was that she did not accept that her son was an adult, capable of making his own decisions. I’m sure Casey never expected her to agree with his decision; she had only to respect it and him. Instead, she chose to continue playing mother-hen to an adult and, in doing so, allowed her love for her child to override the natural respect that must be shown to an adult making their own decisions in life. I find this to be a uniquely parental pitfall. Most parents would, I daresay, respect a decision to join the local fire department if made by an adult person of their acquaintance. If said adult person happens to be their own child, however, then the rules suddenly change and decisions like this are no longer respected, but questioned. This is a failure of parents to show the same level of respect to their children that they show to perfect strangers. I understand that the root cause is love and an overwhelming desire to protect one’s own child from harm; consider, however, that in the long run more harm is done to an adult child by trying to endlessly “mother” them than by just treating them as any other responsible person over 18. As tough as this is to say, Cindy Sheehan should have loved her son less and trusted and respected him more. A lot of her own suffering and that she has caused others could have been prevented or at least reduced by that simple, but difficult step.

Every parent may one day be faced by their child or children choosing to place themselves in harm’s way for a cause that they believe in. The parents of a murdered police officer don’t always believe that their child’s sacrifice was worth the cause of keeping the public safe. Their child probably did believe in that cause and was willing to give his or her life for it. That is a decision that a parent has to respect, because our nation in particular and humanity as a whole depend for their continued survival on the courage, dedication and sacrifice of young idealists willing to serve a cause greater than themselves. Casey Sheehan was one of the heroes who paid the ultimate price for his cause. It is a tragedy for all involved that his mother was unable to accept her son’s courage and commitment. She has lost not only her son, but her marriage, her family and, I suspect, a part of herself by lashing out against that which her son dedicated his life to. I believe that she is now a wiser person though, dedicated to fighting for humanitarian rather than political goals, and I truly wish the best for her. Despite what she has said and done over the past few years, all of us should restrain our urge to take a parting shot at her. Remember, this is still a Gold Star mother. In light of everything that she has gone through, Cindy Sheehan is truly more to be pitied than laughed at.